Cam Newton was recently featured in Essence where the article shares his most recent conversation with Dr. Sarah Fontenot on his latest podcast episode Funky Friday. Newton states his ultimate goal isn’t marriage, although, he does want his long-time girlfriend Jasmine Brown and him to be married. While many people often focus on his relationship choices, the real conversation should center on the deeper emotional struggles he reveals on his podcast—struggles that countless men share but rarely address.
In a previous podcast with Cheyenne Brown, Cam Newton also expressed his fear of divorce stating that his “desire to get married” is lower than his “fear of divorce”. Newton’s words highlight something critical: many men are carrying unhealed wounds, unresolved fears, and insecurities that shape their relationships and decisions. And while there’s been a growing push for men to seek healing, the spaces that claim to offer support aren’t always as safe or effective as they need to be.
The Unspoken Fear Behind “Marriage Isn’t My Goal”
Cam Newton’s admission is a reflection of how unprocessed trauma can shape our decisions. When a man says he’s afraid of marriage, it’s often not about the institution itself. It’s about the fear of repeating what he’s seen or experienced in the past: broken homes, failed partnerships, or personal inadequacy.
For Newton, and for many men, the fear of failure can be paralyzing. Rather than risk the vulnerability it takes to commit, they avoid it altogether. But avoidance doesn’t equal healing. Unacknowledged fears like this manifest in other ways—sometimes as harmful behavior, relationship struggles, or feelings of emptiness.
Why Men Need Healing Spaces And Better Leadership
Newton’s story shines a spotlight on the importance of healing spaces for men. But here’s the problem: too many of these spaces are being led by men who are unqualified to guide others.
We’ve all seen the rise of podcasts, social media platforms, and self-help movements targeted at men. While some of these leaders are genuinely trying to help, many haven’t done the personal work to heal themselves. They appear to be leading from a place of wisdom but many social media male influencers are operating their platforms from a place of ego, resentment, and pain . And when unqualified men lead these spaces, they perpetuate harmful advice and ideologies that push other men further from healing.
This creates a dangerous cycle. Men seeking help are drawn to these platforms but leave with distorted views on relationships, masculinity, and personal growth. Instead of learning how to face their fears and insecurities, they’re told to suppress them or project them onto others. This isn’t healing but harm disguised as empowerment.
What Real Healing Spaces Look Like
For healing spaces to truly serve men, they must be built on integrity, accountability, and expertise. This means:
• Leaders Who’ve Done the Work: A leader can’t guide others toward healing if they haven’t addressed their own wounds. Men need mentors who model emotional health, vulnerability, and growth.
• Practical Tools and Knowledge: Healing is more than just talking about feelings. It requires actionable strategies, like therapy, emotional regulation techniques, and accountability structures.
• A Focus on Connection, Not Dominance: Healthy spaces encourage men to connect with themselves and others, rather than perpetuating power dynamics or unhealthy views of masculinity.
Men like Cam Newton need spaces where they can safely unpack fears like the ones he expressed. Spaces where vulnerability is celebrated, not shamed, and where guidance comes from a place of true understanding.
The Cost of Getting It Wrong
When men are led astray by unqualified leaders, the consequences are far-reaching. These men may develop toxic beliefs about themselves and others, sabotaging their relationships, careers, and sense of self-worth. Worse, they may pass these harmful ideologies onto the next generation, perpetuating cycles of pain.
Cam Newton’s fear of marriage doesn’t make him weak, it makes him human. But his story is a reminder that men can’t face these fears alone, nor should they have to. They need qualified, compassionate leadership to help them heal and grow.
A Call for Real Leadership
The market for men’s healing spaces may be wide open, but not everyone should step into that role. To truly serve men, we need leaders who are committed to doing the work on themselves first, and then with others. We need leaders who value healing over hype, growth over ego, and connection over clicks.
While Cam Newton is often judged for his ideologies on his platform, Funky Friday, I feel sympathy for him. He needs the counsel of strong, wise men who are equipped with the necessary tools to truly support him on his healing journey. And so do all the men who are seeking healing and guidance. If we’re going to build spaces for men to grow, let’s make sure those spaces are rooted in integrity and led by those who are ready mentally and spiritually to truly lead.
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